A Day in the Life of a Mean Widdle Kid

I know there are some of you out there who remember Red Skelton's Mean Widdle Kid. "If I dood it, I get in trouble....I dood it!"

This has become Dixie's philosophy of life.

Dixie's day begins at 5am - if she has been sequestered in the bathroom for fighting with Scout at midnight, she begins meowing to remind Mom that she was unjustly accused and incarcerated. If she has spent the night freely roaming the house, she pounces on Mom's nose to let her know that the alarm will be going off in a few minutes.

5:15 am, 5:30 am, 5:45 am and 6:00 am - she picks herself up from where Mom has flung her off the bed and marches out of the room in a huff, muttering under her breath.

6:05 am - she walks Mom to the pantry to show her where the cat food is kept. This is not just a walk, but her opportunity to help Mom wake up by creating an obstacle course, weaving into and out of Mom's path as as the aged parent blearily stumbles to the kitchen.

6:30 am - she launches her first attack of the morning on Boo or Scout, whichever one happens to be visiting the litter box. Nothing like freaking out a housemate by springing on them while their attention is otherwise occupied. She has assisted in greatly improving Boo's standing broad jump since she arrived.

6:35 am - she uses the litter box herself and complains about the way that Boo or Scout flung litter all over the room when they departed in haste.

7:00 am - she helps Mom with the ironing of the day's outfit by grabbing the iron cord and biting Mom's toes.

7:01 am - she nimbly dodges Mom's swat at her little hiney.

7:05 am thru approximately 10:30 am - she hounds Scout, chasing and biting and running upstairs and downstairs

10:30 am - nap time, which may last 5 minutes or may last 5 hours. Naps are interspersed with trips to the litter box and assaults on Boo and Scout. Unless Mom is working at home, in which case, she repeatedly lands on the desk and is repeatedly ejected, lands on the work table and watches tv for awhile, and then starts again with landing on the desk and flying through the air away from the desk - until

approx 5:00 pm - Mom gets home from work and it's time to see how many times she can get the poor woman to say "Stop it!" before

7:00 pm - supper time, when it is time to remind Mom repeatedly that it is supper time in a loud and strident voice until Mom gives up and opens a new package of expensive cat food, after being shown again where we keep it, with the weaving in and out of her path, and then sniffing the food and declaring that she's not hungry just yet and will eat later.

8:00 pm until about 10:00 pm - nap time until Mom begins to shut down the house and prepare for bed and trying to time it just right so that at

10:30 pm - when Mom finally gets into bed and settles down with her crossword for the evening, Dixie begins to prowl around the room, getting into the trash, chewing on important papers, jumping up on the bed so that Mojo will chase her off, and finally settling down like she intends to sleep for awhile.

11:00 pm - when Mom turns off the light, gets up and picks a fight with Scout, the object being to see how long it will take Mom to give up and get out of bed and catch one of them.

11:15 pm - settles down in the bathroom to sleep.

It's not easy being a Mean Widdle Kid.

LSW

Dixie Explores

As I mentioned before, Dixie hasn't quite figured out the jumping up on things that don't give her a good claw hold to assist her way. She's beginning to get the idea, but she's not there yet. Today she managed to clamber up, in a roundabout way, to the top of the work table in my office. She was very taken with the view out the window, which at this particular point in time, included a flock of crows strolling about the front yard.

Then she discovered the little television that sits on that table. She sat, transfixed, for a long time, watching the images move. I gave her the usual Mother's warning about sitting too close and ruining your eyesight, but she told me to mind my own business.

She ran the gamut today, from exploring the new vista of the work table to being so obnoxious to Scout that she ended up in time-out twice. When the Dixie decides to be obnoxious, she doesn't mess around about it. She finally wore herself out and spent a good portion of the afternoon in a deep, restorative nap. After which, she started all over again.

I think I may be too old to be raising another baby.

UPDATE Thursday morning - Miss Dixie and Scout decided to have an all-out sumo-wrestling battle at midnight. Yesterday being the once monthly occasion when I get a massage and actually sleep well, their antics were not amusing. I tried hollering at them a couple of times, but ultimately had to get up and sequester Miss Dixie in the bathroom by herself all night. You would think the little scamp would get the message that rotten behavior equals isolation. I hope it eventually sinks in.

LSW

Trials by Cat

For a tiny fluff ball, Miss Dixie has made a huge impact on our quiet household. And I don't mean just the yelling of "stop that" that has become my daily, almost hourly, anthem. She has more energy per square inch than a nuclear reactor. Last night, as I sat at my desk before the computer, she decided she wanted to be on my shoulder. She jumped, reaching for something solid to get her claws in for traction, and that something happened to be my back. I screeched and flung her off of me and then we had a loud conversation, after which she decided she might just spend the rest of the evening under the bed.

This morning she was attempting to be a sweeter cat, camouflaging herself as just another of the pillow cats.

I am not the only target of Dixie's mayhem. Poor Scout is continually hunting for a spot that will put her out of aggravation's way. Dixie hasn't quite figured out that she can jump up on things without there being something soft she can anchor her claws into, so Scout spends her day sitting on the tops of desks or dressers or other pieces of furniture above Dixie's present reach. (I haven't got the heart to tell Scout it's only a matter of time before Dixie figures out there are springs in her feet. I hate to see a grown cat cry.)

I was chagrined to discover that one of Scout's places of safety is endangering some of my miniatures displays. I glanced over at the piano the other night and there was a cat where there shouldn't be a cat. She was curled up fast asleep on a gardening vignette. I've since made a stab at convincing her that it is not a good napping place, but so far she isn't paying the slightest bit of attention.

All I can hope is that she gives up this location before Dixie figures out she's there. I have this horrible premonition that I will be awakened by a horrific crash in the middle of the night and all my hard work will be scattered about the floor and the piano will acquire even more scars. (You may recall that the Taz cat bounced a lamp off the piano, gouging a dozen or so divots in the walnut finish.)

We have an appointment with the vet on Friday morning for a follow up exam for Dixie. I am anticipating that the doctor will be impressed with how much she has bounced back from the scraggly little waif I brought in two months ago. I, on the other hand, may be advised to get a long rest in the country.

I realized this morning that Boo and Scout went through this stage and I lived through it. However, they had each other to beat up on and that spared the rest of us a lot of scars and blood-letting. They've turned into pretty good cats. And it only took 3 years.

Lord, have mercy. Two and a half more years before I can expect Dixie to be a little lady cat.

{sob}

LSW

Do Not Feed the Wild Animals

There's a reason why they say don't feed the wild animals. This is an example of what happens when you do. They move in and take over.

"Are YOU talking to ME?"

Pray for me.

LSW

The Dixie Report

I am having so much fun with Miss Dixie. Every day she comes up with something new to add to her bag of tricks.

Dixie has a whole floor full of cat toys - rattly balls, crackly cat tunnel, catnip mouse, chirpy bird, and the list goes on - and she plays with all of them throughout her day. But, the best toys are the found toys. She has discovered the wastebasket under my desk. I will hear her rattling around under there and she will be deep into the basket, looking for kitty treasures. This morning she had a great time killing an envelope she found lurking in its depths.

Her newest trick is reminiscent of Tinker, a cat of some renown in our family's past. She goes into the kitchen or the utility room and yowls for someone to come find her. Tinker would pull this same stunt while hiding in the bathtub. When the unwary victim comes into range, out springs Miss Dixie to wrap around your ankle like the Tasmanian Devil of the old cartoons.

While there is no doubt she knows her name, she is beginning to exercise her cat prerogative to ignore your call if it suits her. But I have her number. All I have to do is open the refrigerator door and she will come running from the farthest reaches of the house to help you decide what you should prepare for the upcoming meal.

"There's some chicken on that shelf up there."

She has moved into her own spot on the bed at night, right between the dogs, and is pretty much adjusted to our sleeping routine, although she did wake me up Saturday morning by pouncing on my nose. But when she curls up next to me with that wild, happy purr, I can overlook a little nose pouncing.

I'm really not sure how we got along before she joined us.

LSW

Now I Ask You

Just how is anybody supposed to get anything done around here? All activities are subject to "assistance".

(By the way, I don't usually take blurry pictures. However, most all of my pictures of the heathen cats are blurry. That should tell you something.)

LSW

Heathen Cat

It seems like every time I casually refer to the kittens as the "heathens", some poor innocent gives me a look and says "how can you say that about those sweet little kittens?" Hah. Sweet, my you-know. Does this look sweet?



I present as evidence exhibit A. It used to be my piano lamp. This morning it became a pile of glass shards. Mr. Boo decided to explore the top of the piano this morning about 6:30. CRASH!!!!

I was not pleased to have to haul out the vacuum and sweep up glass before I even had my first cup of coffee. I was not pleased to discover about a half-dozen scars in my piano where the lamp bounced on its way to the floor. I was not pleased later in the day when I did some searching on the internet to discover how expensive it will be to replace the glass shade.

Boo beat a hasty retreat and did not resurface for an hour or so, at which time he strolled in, jumped in my lap and pretended he had no idea that he was in disgrace. And that insane purr.

Heathen, indeed.

LSW

The High Cost of Health Care

I may not have to put any kids through college, but I sure haven't escaped the medical bills. Today I provided another car payment for somebody at the Elgin Vet Hospital.

This was some day. I started off first thing hauling all the animals over to Elgin. The two kittens had one more round of kitten shots and they shared a carrier. They did not go quietly. They fussed and fumed all the way to Elgin and all the way back. In usual fashion, the whole time they were in the exam room they purred so loud that the doctor and technicians were cracking up.

Coco went along for a pedicure. I promised her no shots, but then the tech managed to cut not one, but three nails too short and we had blood spurting everywhere. That was fun.

Mojo was there for a follow up on his surgery. And a nail trim. (I've found it's well worth paying to have somebody else have to deal with all the hysterics and hissy fits that happen when David and I try to do nail trims at home.) His incision is healing nicely and he's lost a wee bit of weight and has been pronounced to be doing well. His bald butt is gradually growing hair again, so he doesn't look like a mangy orphan any longer.

Xana ended up having to spend the day in hospital and will have to go back again tomorrow and Friday. She is having another sinking spell, probably related to her ongoing renal problems, and is getting fluids and antibiotics. We've entered the elder years when we will have to do these periodic hospitalizations to keep her going.

I really think we single folks with furry children should be able to put the little guys on our health care policy. This is getting expensive, especially when you have a surgery one month and a hospitalization the next month. Add to that the ongoing expense of Xana's nutritional supplement, heartworm preventive for 3, and Mojo's anti-inflammatory medicine until he is fully recovered. It's as much time and energy and cost to take care of the herd as it is to manage Mother.

It's no wonder we are greeted with smiles and open arms when we enter the clinic. We represent a steady cash flow. But, bottom line, my babies are well cared for. I'm a wreck and my checkbook is in shreds, but the dogs and cats are sleeping peacefully around me, secure in the knowledge that Mom will spend her last dollar on them if necessary.

LSW

Just Plain Nauseating

These two heathen cats spent all afternoon sleeping on the back of the big chair, purring like crazy. I had intended to post a video clip, but haven't yet figured out how to get that accomplished. Suffice it to say that they've been purely sickening.

Nothing is safe anymore. They were up at 4:30 this morning racing up and down the stairs and throwing themselves at the bedroom door. A couple of nights ago they managed to turn over a dollhouse kit that was leaning against the guest bed and it sounded like someone had broken in.

On the other hand, they will crawl in my lap, reach up and pat my face and start that insane purring. When I was little and would get to giggling, Mother would tell me that my giggle box had turned over. These cats regularly turn their purr box over. They erupt with rattly purrs that you can hear clear across the room.

This is what I have to live with. You should have pity on me.

LSW

Poor, Poor, Pitiful Me

So they gave me a shot and when I woke up I had a horrible bandage on my leg and a shaved butt. Where is the complaint department?

Mojo

Post Surgical Report

Haven't gotten around to processing the trip photos yet, but I plan to get started this weekend. Things have been just a bit tense this week, as Mojo had surgery yesterday to correct some problems with his back leg. The report last night was good and he should get to come home tonight. The doctor said he has a bandage that is as big as he is, so I'm sure I will be waiting on the little guy paw and foot for awhile. (Like I wasn't already.)

Turns out that everything that could have been wrong with his leg was. He had torn a ligament that runs alongside his knee, the cartilage in his knee had shattered, and the groove that holds the kneecap in place was so shallow that the kneecap was sliding out of place. He has had an artificial ligament created, the pieces of cartilage removed and the groove deepened. No wonder the poor little guy was so touchy lately.

Mom was on pins and needles yesterday waiting for the doctor's call. She assured me that he was going to be sleeping through the night and loaded with pain meds and that someone would be there to keep an eye on him. I guess I'm improving a little, since I didn't insist they set up a cot in sick bay so I could stay with him. (The last time that Bebop had surgery, I was allowed special permission to sit in Recovery and hold him while he came out from anesthesia. When you spend the kind of money I do with a vet clinic, you can push your weight around a little.)

So I'm glad it's over and I'm looking forward to him being able to run around like a little boy should be able to do, without carrying one leg up all the time. I'm told it will be about 6 weeks before he's fully recovered, but the alternative was to never walk right again. I can live with 6 weeks of slavery. I'm sure he will take advantage of the situation.

In other news, the kittens grew about double while I was gone. They are at that lean and lanky pre-teen stage. And full of mischief. They've learned ways to get up to high places and prowl among the things I would rather they left alone. In other words, we are well on our way to having full blown cats. May God have mercy on our souls.

LSW

My Staff

Meet my staff, without whom I would not be able to run a functioning household. At front center, is Mr. Mojo, first lieutentant. Directly behind him is first assistant secretary Coco, who apparently is on vacation today (nothing could persuade her to look into the camera). Proceeding clockwise, we next see Xana, managing secretary. On the uppermost level is Miss Scout, intern. Finally we meet Mr. Boo, the rising young upstart, who has his eye on the first lieutenant position.

They had an exhausting morning, helping Mom move the remaining plants into the "greenhouse". Time for siesta.

LSW